guess. As for his lineages, Guru Lau had his decision made long time ago. It was more than ten years ago (in 1986) that he had already asked my husband to uphold his lineages; but unfortunately this was leaked out, and so there were lots of curses and slanders directed against us. In order to keep the Dharma centre intact, and to avoid open confrontation between Dharma brothers, my husband and I were forced to leave. Ten years later (in 1996), Guru Lau again asked my husband the second time to uphold his lineages and this time he did it with great secrecy. However, the letter that he had left behind was again being kept by someone, who tried to blackmail us but we did not give in. Guru Lau himself had already predicted that there would be obstacles for his lineages. In order to understand what have really happened, one has to meditate upon the many secret meanings behind all these, and this is exactly the hardest examination question that my husband and I have to answer. In fact, the Dharma arrow is already on the bow, and the sword to cut off hindrances and devils is already inside the sheath. Whether the arrow will be shot out from the bow will depend on the Bodhicitta; and whether the sword will be drawn out of the sheath will depend on the cause and conditions. The road that we have to travel is so foggy and hard to walk, and the two of us are so powerless and so alone all by ourselves. Yet, Guru Lau's calling upon us is always in our minds and we dare not forget it. Though we do not have the kind of temperament that Guru Lau had, we are rather stubborn in protecting our own beliefs and our samayas. I do not believe that these so-called obstacles will hinder our journey together with Guru Lau! The turning point came when we were able to meet Kyabje Chadral Rinpoche and Kyabje Dudjom Yangsi Rinpoche again. With the inspiration by Guru Lau, light shines upon us once again, and this is the true wish of Guru Lau! I am just wondering, among so many disciples of Guru Lau, are there anyone who would like to join us and embark upon our journey together? The kindness of Guru Lau to us is so immense and boundless, and his humour and wit will always be in my mind. To be together with Guru Lau is just wonderful, and to talk with him is just like drinking a cup of cold drink in the midst of a hot summer day, both refreshing and delightful. The whole life of Guru Lau, full of ups and downs, is just like a thick book containing the most condensed nectar of wisdom. His nature and philosophy is as natural as the flow of a river, while his will-power is as strong and firm as a mountain rock. His secret meanings are deep beyond measure, and his brightness is concealed without being exposed. After all these years of training by Guru Lau, I am reborn as a different person. Before he went back to Taiwan in mid-1996, Guru Lau mentioned that there are two kinds of women: one kind is like a mess who knows nothing, the other kind is one who can change things at ease. There are special meanings in his words, and I replied to him saying that I am just like a mess. I know my role and status very clearly, so that I will not cross my boundary, but neither will I surrender my rights and duties. Guru Lau had asked me to fully help my husband in the propagation of the Dharma, and he gave us eight Chinese words meaning "You have good talents, (yet) still need further training" What Guru Lau had given us, we will treasure those things that are inner and spiritual, rather than outer and material, in nature. So, for the foundation (Dharma centres) that Guru Lau had established, we would not bother to try to get it back, but rather do some concrete things than wasting our time and energy on it. We will divide up what Guru Lau had given us into two parts - the Dharma lineages, on the one hand, and his foundation, on the other hand. The Dharma lineages is where the spirit of Guru Lau lies, and so we must fight to the very end to keep it from being broken, as well as to maintain its purity and cleanliness. Whereas, the foundation is just material things which are really immaterial to us. Indeed, as has been so clearly stated by Kyabje Dudjom Rinpoche in his Quintessence of the Saints: "These religious possessions (are) like virulent poisons." Unless the keeping of Guru Lau's foundation will be able to further the cause of helping more sentient beings, otherwise we would not bother with it; and definitely we are not going to fight for it! It was, indeed, the same kind of mentality when we had decided to leave the centre, in order to avoid in-fightings, more than ten years ago. It was only because we were so moved by the sincerity of Guru Lau in asking us once again to uphold his lineages that we felt ..CONTINUE ..


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